Mums Twelve Days of Christmas.

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Sorry. I completely abandoned you all! It’s been a busy couple of weeks here!

I thought I’d get a post in before C day. Everyone knows the way the song goes, five golden rings and a load of maids milking. Well this version is a shout out to all you mums out there that are losing your marbles right about now.

Twelve days of is it Christmas yet?!

No, it’s not.

 We haven’t just skipped half of December. Why do children lose their inability to count when it comes to counting down the days to exciting things?! I know you can count, so I’m not sure why you are insisting on asking every day if its been twelve sleeps yet.. It’s been one. One night (or half a nights sleep in my case), you haven’t hibernated, time hasn’t suddenly skipped. You don’t need to ask me every five damn minutes.. I mean heck I’m hardly even a reliable source, I can just about remember what day it is without all the stresses of Christmas!

Eleven days of Planning.

I spend half the Christmas period planning all the things I’m definitely going to do and then not doing them. I mean I come up with some pretty cool ideas.. it’s just a shame I’m running round like a headless chicken to do any of them.. or my darling one year old has kept me up all night. I mean we’ve done the salt dough decoration and P had adorned the Christmas tree with some interesting toilet roll tube decorations.. but I seriously had a list as long as my arm. I’ve not made gingerbread people or went and seen the cool house with all Christmas lights or even wrapped all the presents in the elaborate way I as going too.. and I’m probably going to do the exact same next year… sigh.

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Ten days of Calling Santa.

I’m sorry… I try not to use the whole naughty list thing but when you’re five year old forgets it’s meant to be the season of goodwill it’s an easy fall. I’ve probably rang him a billion times and she forgets that me and Santa are pals within half a second and goes back to being the ‘boss’.. Sometimes even I think she’s the boss 😐

Nine days of Shopping.

Christmas time in town with two children is what nightmares are made off. I always plan (you’ve just read how well that usually goes, so I think you know where this is going..) to do things early and every year I say I’m gonna get my shit together. Well this was my most unorganised year to date! About two weeks ago I had pretty much nothing for the girls. So as you can imagine it really has been nine days of shopping. Nine days of trying to sneakily but your kids present with the right next to you.. ‘Oh this? No it’s not for you!! Its for cousin Bills friends, aunties, daughter’ ..

Eight days of Motivation.

I don’t know about you guys but I seem to have a cleaning spurt just before Christmas. I think its because we get lots of visitors so I like the place to be spick and span! I’ve re decorated two rooms and re-arranged my living room. I have no idea why I add more work in for myself, I hate cleaning all year round then the busiest time I’m like a maid.. Well for a couple a days anyway.

Seven days of Eating.

Who’s with me?! I mean its Christmas week now right? That’s what I tell myself when I polish off another block of cheese and a pack of crackers. Christmas isn’t just one day anymore. Its definitely an entire week. A week of cheese, pate, biscuits, chocolate and all the other things that are going to make me not fit into my wedding dress! Ah fudge.

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Six days of over Excitement.

Ok guys there’s six days left! Six… Remember we practised our counting? That’s almost a whole weel.. Mummy’s still trying not to think about it and pretend it isn’t approaching at a rapid speed. No you don’t need to listen out for Santa. No he wont come early. I have no idea what list you’re on. Please stop jumping around the furniture, you’re not flying. As much as you think you are, you aren’t Rudolph just because you have a cold and a red nose..

Five days of Wrapping.

and not the Honey G kind.. (thank god!). If your kids are anything like mine and pretty nocturnal wrapping takes a few days! That’s a few days of losing the scissors, serotype and your shit. I hate (and I mean hate) cutting the wrong size paper.. This year I’ve used parcel paper so no handy cutting guide to get its right with this year! It annoys me so much sometimes I just patch up the holey twat and tell myself  they’re kids, they aren’t going to appreciate my technical and inspiring wrapping.. plus I usually run out of wrapping paper..

Four days of Forgetfulness.

Yep. You know those days where you sit and think of what you’ve bought whilst feeling super boasty about being one hundred percent sorted and ready? To then write down a list of what you have versus what you need and fuck.. You’ve forgotten so much that you’re concerned for your short term memory! You start remember relatives that you see once a year or your child adds something else to his/her Christmas list that they’ve never mentioned before but is their apparent favourite! I forget everything, so does G which isn’t helpful! My new years resolution is to be more organised!

Three days of Dashing.

Ok its the final sprint. The last minute dash to the shops to get whatever else you need. I mean your life depends on if you have that cranberry sauce. Is it an apocalypse? Are the shops ever going to open again? I’m sure people ask these questions as they clear the fridges out of milk and the baby isles are left like a western shoot out. It’s like every year the country goes wild because one day or of all three hundred and sixty five the shops close their doors.. Calm down, don’t bash me with your trolley. I promise I’m not going to steal the last pack of pampers.

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Two days of OMG!

This is it. The big day is tomorrow and its going to be amazing. I love my kids. I love my family, its going to be nothing short of fab! Hah.. P’s going to be so excited that she blows her lid all day at the smallest of things. Her impatient character comes out in full force and the wait is all too much! I has no idea what is going on and just wants to cuddle me and feed (yep, still breastfeeding the toddler!)  because she’s completely unsociable. A part from that we are planning (LOL, I’m at it again.) on doing crafts and using my zero building skills to make a gingerbread house that will probably end in tears (my tears because I’m a control freak and I’m going to have to let P use her artistic side to decorate the thing, if it stands up anyway!)

First day of Relax..

For the first time since I was seventeen ( I’m almost twenty three now!) and moved out, I’m going home for Christmas! I’m actually really looking forward to not rushing around making the dinner ( sorry mum..) and just enjoying the day! Surrounded by family, playing charades enjoying each others company. The only thing I hope will go to plan this year. It’s the time to look around and realise that the swede you forgot, doesn’t matter, The stuffing that didn’t go to plan or the trifle which your face ended up in (yep, this happened to me one year..) doesn’t matter. What matters is who you’re with and just taking that time to appreciate what others aren’t lucky enough to have.

So Merry Christmas!

Laugh, eat, get drunk and stay happy.

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